READ THIS READ THIS READ THIS READ THIS READ THIS!

I have decided….

that…..

I will not be using this blog anymore.

This blog has run it’s course and that course (?) has come to its end. You may shed a tear now. BUT I am by no means going to stop blogging. Quite the contrary. Going with the flows of new and evolved “technology” I am going to change  to a new blogging program. (Oh I know I’m a traitor) Here’s the links. One for my writing, and another for my frivolous other posts.

Columning

Me Plus You

Goodbye dearest WordPress. You’ve been awesome. And I hope to see all you readers over at my other blog. (It’s cooler)

Flashbacks

(This is a letter that me and Anita wrote to mom while we were in Belgium back when we were in 3rd grade and 5th grade….This made me crack up. I honestly couldn’t stop laughing…so cute)

Thank you for writing us!!!!! Don’t worry, we have only eaten real Belgium fritz twice! We ate them at a place that specializes in fritz, and at the family reunion!!!!
A few days ago we went to see Evo!!!! ( DUE TO ERRORS IN THE COMPUTER IT WILL BE………. TATATAAAAAAA……..ALL IN CAPITALS!!!!!!!! ) AT HIS HOUSE WE MET LYDIA AND WILL.. AT FIRST WE DIDN’T THINK THEY WERE IN THE FAMILY , BUT WE OVER HEARD SNATCHES OF VERSES  IN DAD AND EVO’S CONVERSATION, AND WHEN THEY STARTED TO PRAISE THE LORD BEFORE THE MEAL WE WERE CERTAIN THAT THEY WERE IN THE FAMILY!!!!! THEY HAD HUGANTIC SHELLS FROM BRAZIL, SOME AS BIG AS OUR HEADS, WHILE SOME WERE SMALLER THEN OUR PINKIE NAILS!!!!!! FOR DINNER WE HAD CHICKEN THAT WAS ROASTED ON A SPIT!!!!THEN WE LOOKED AT PICTURES OF SURINAM. EVERYONE WAS VERY FRIENDLY!!!!! WE GOT A LIFT HOME. GOOD THING TOO!!! IT WAS MINUS 2 DEGREES!!!!!!!!
WE FINALLY REALIZED THAT OUR FAVORITE DRINK IN JAPAN IS SPRITE AND IN BELGIUM IT IS LEMONADE!!!!!!!!! LOVE YOU TONS,

A SMALL AND INSIGNIFICANT VOICE SAYS, ” ME!!! ANITA!!!”
A SMALL AND INSIGNIFICANT VOICE SAYS ,” ME!!! MELISSA!!!”

P.S. I ( MELISSA ) WANTED TO WRITE FOR MY NAME ” LOUD AND FIERY VOICE” BUT ANITA WOULD NOT HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Is Real

“A team of six players sits at a study table… Six cards are placed face down on the table, and each player picks one and flips it over. Typically, five of the cards are green and marked ‘Safe’; the sixth, with a yellow skull and crossbones means that its holder must endure a bizarre ‘punishment’ challenge.” – Wikipedia

  • Juiced Foot: The player must drink a glass of grape juice, freshly stomped from a vat of fruit by a woman with very dirty feet.
  • School Scratch: The player dons a set of headphones connected to a microphone, which is positioned to pick up the sound of a rake being dragged across a chalkboard.
  • Bugged Feet: The player puts on a pair of galoshes filled with bugs and must walk in them for 20 seconds.
  • Electric Puzzle: The player must complete a jigsaw puzzle in 30 seconds while electric shocks are administered at random times.
  • Floating Chew: The player lies faceup on the table and must eat a bite from each of six pieces of rotten food suspended above his/her head.
  • Old Soup: The player lies supine on the floor, while a trembling elderly man eats a bowl of hot soup above his/her face. The soup drips, splatters, and pours on the player’s face.
  • Extinguished: The player is given a cupcake with a lit candle stuck in it and must try to blow out the flame. However, it is a trick candle that keeps relighting itself; after several seconds, a firer fighter in full rescue gear runs in and sprays the player with a fire extinguisher.
  • Safety Car: The player sits in a toy car and is pushed by teammates into a wall. Upon impact an airbag filled with white powder explodes in the player’s face.
  • Suspender Strike: The player attaches a pair of suspenders to his/her pants, and a teammate must pull them back as far as possible and let go so that they snap against the player’s body.
  • Chocolate Stretch: The player must eat five dangling chocolates, while wearing an elastic band into his/her forehead.
  • Big Bust: The player must have a balloon under his/her shirt and must have the balloon inflated until it pops.
  • Not Happy Hour: Five of the players are selected for this challenge and must drink a scorpion bowl filled with a revolting concoction of sauces within 30 seconds.
  • Dish Water: The player must drink a glass of water from a tub of soaking, dirty dishes brought in by a busboy
  • Sweet Red Corn: The player has 30 seconds to eat a lipstick covered corn on the cob.

This Is Kinda Cute

Recently this kid has been everywhere and apparently he’s a big deal. His name’s Justin Bieber. I’d heard a lot about him and just passed him off as this little pop star who can’t really sing and blah blah blah. But just now I was kinda like, “Let’s actually listen to one of his songs.” And I did and was pretty surprised because his songs are pretty catchy. Not really pop songish. More R and B(?) Quite a cool kid and not a bad dancer. And he’s around my age. Just turned 16 or something. So yeah. Have a listen. The songs are pretty good.

This Is So Sad

“Carrie Underwood performed ‘Temporary Home’ in memory of one of the truck drivers carrying stage equipment for her Play On tour who died in a crash on Saturday.”

Watch from about 2:14

Studying

Something else that I’ve started studying is shorthand. Which is a” system of rapid handwriting employing symbols to represent words, phrases, and letters.” Apparently you’ve gotta be able to do that if you want to be a journalism, so can’t really get around it I suppose. I’ll post it here as a PDF file for anyone who’s interested.

Teeline Complete

Something

(Tx dad)

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

–Rudyard Kipling

Famous Last Words

Of a Civil War general. I’m not even joking. It came up in my language arts book.

“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dis–“

Before I Start School

I’m going to go start school now. I actually have a reason to  because since my mom is a sneaky little (censored word) who can read minds, she’s decided to uphold my journalism textbook until I finish 10th grade math. Which consists of 4 100 page each books. So basically I’ll never get that textbook and I will be the first self taught journalist who gets as famous as Dave Barry. Or I won’t get any job and we’ll all know who to blame. But that’s not what I’m here to write about. I was actually just going to say that I have a few funny pictures you might want to see before you start your day. Or after depending on when you get online

Just some silly stuff I write on the side that doesn’t exactly qualify as “newsey” but doesn’t really fit on my blog. Keep in mind that everything is kind of a joke…

Columning

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